TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR ITEMS OF FRENCH CUISINE

Top Ten Least Popular Items of French Cuisine

10. Soufflégm

9. Escarbot

8. Créme Malaise

7. Beurre Blank

6. Blew Cheese

5. Mise en glass

4. Beyoncé

3. Fellatio

2. Frottage Cheese

And the number one least popular item of french cuisine...

1. Toenails Foster

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/07/05)

TOP TEN THINGS JASON ROHRBLOGGER DOES TO RELAX

Note: apparently I have been tagged with a "meme." I have absolutely no idea what that is. Aurora? A little help here? What's a meme? Anyhoo - click on the main title above to see what I am talking about. SJ, you, uh, asked for it. I have been challenged to write a list on this topic:

Top Ten Things Jason Rohrblogger Does to Relax

10. Taxes

9. Hot poker massage

8. Eat a heaping plate of Viagra with some fava beans and a nice Chianti

7. Take the (short) bus

6. Finish punching-up screenplay for Tinkerbell Hilton

5. Watch entire season one of "The Greatest American Hero." "Believe it or not, I'm blogging on air..."

4. Cappuccino colon cleanse

3. Mutter "ten minutes to Wapner" over and over...

2. Tinker with my macaroni-based doomsday device. I'm finally going to show them all!

And the number one thing Jason Rohrblogger does to relax...

1. Low-carb heroin

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/23/05)

And the alternates...

Take a gander over yonder
Myofascial release
Club Oprah's book
Gambol online

TOP TEN REJECTED STAR WARS CHARACTERS

Top Ten Rejected Star Wars Characters

10. Bylgates

9. Jabbawocky

8. Myyshaa a'Rona

7. Darth Fluffy

6. Grimace

5. Snoop Bantha Banth

4. Mace Windex

3. Mason Jar Jar

2. Chewbacco

And the number one rejected Star Wars Character...

1. Spock

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/13/05)

And the alternate...

Nox Equus

TOP TEN SIGNS JASON ROHRBLOGGER HAS A SUMMER COLD

Top Ten Signs Jason Rohrblogger Has a Summer Cold

10. Using even more Kleenex than usual

9. Stupor no longer caused by daily crack supplement

8. Pours DayQuil on his Frosted Flakes

7. Dry hacking cough attracting hot respiratory therapists

6. Sleep routine extended 30 minutes to a full 23 hours a day

5. Toxic social behavior punctuated with gobs of snot

4. Fever starting to melt bodies packed in cooler

3. Can no longer taste delicious Purina Bachelor Chow

2. More congested than Manhattan

And the number one sign Jason Rohrblogger has a summer cold...

1. Voices in aching head screaming for vitamin C

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/01/05)

TOP TEN MICHAEL JACKSON JURY PET PEEVES

Top Ten Michael Jackson Jury Pet Peeves

10. Stepping on fallen pieces of nose

9. The glove fits, can they still acquit?

8. Bubbles the Chimp insists on smoking on the stand

7. Tour of Neverland included music from the album Invincible

6. Every time the judge enters the courtroom the entire defense team does the dance routine from "Thriller"

5. Hard-to-believe testimony from 11-year-old accuser. Everyone knows 11 is way too old for Michael

4. Both plaintiff and defendant failed psychiatric evaluation

3. Creepy way accuser's mother pimps him for beer money

2. Creepy way defendant licks his lips when recess is called

And the number one Michael Jackson jury pet peeve...

1. Can't change the channel when Brooke Shields, Macaulay Culkin, and Corey Feldman come on

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/01/05)