TOP TEN SPIDER-MAN TURN-ONS

Top Ten Spider-Man Turn-Ons

10. Once you go black widow, you'll never go back, widow.

9. The way bubbles in champagne make his "Spider-Sense" tingle.

8. Shaved tarantulas. (With eight legs that go on forever.)

7. That scene in "The Fly" where Jeff Goldblum steps into the parlor.

6. Girls who just pretend to be arachnophobic but secretly dig it.

5. The silky feeling of a set of tights fresh from the cleaners.

4. Super villains who still remember to write from prison.

3. Action figure modelers who aren't stingy with the resin in the package, if you know what I mean.

2. Soft music, holding hands, moonlit walks on the ceiling.

And the number one Spider-Man turn-on...

1. Radioactive spiders who bite.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(08/09/01)