Wednesday, January 23, 2008

WHY DID THE IRAQI CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

This one is a bit of a repeat, but I still find it funny...

Top Ten Answers to "Why Did the Iraqi Chicken Cross the Road?"

10. COALITION PROVISIONAL AUTHORITY - The fact that the chicken crossed the road shows that decision-making authority has switched to the chicken in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on, the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

9. HALLIBURTON - We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost $326,004.00.

8. U.S. ARMY MILITARY POLICE - We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken-rights violations.

7. PESHMERGA - The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in the future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck and will wear a plastic bill.

6. AL-JAZEERA - The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

5. CIA - We cannot confirm or deny any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

4. TRANSLATORS - Chicken she cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

3. ANDERSON COOPER FROM CNN - We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

2. HILLARY CLINTON - Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

And the number one answer to "why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?..."

1. GEORGE W. BUSH - We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/29/07)

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