TOP TEN SIGNS IT'S CHRISTMAS IN MANHATTAN

Top Ten Signs it's Christmas in Manhattan

10. Suddenly your loose change sounds like magical sleigh bells as the mugger jogs away.

9. There are visions of fairies dancing in your head, but those aren't sugar plums.

8. The flame from the crack pipe has that extra-warm glow.

7. Santa's sleigh driven by a one-eyed Pakistani.

6. Office of Homeland Security has replaced all mistletoe with TOW Missiles.

5. Yes, that's a pistol in Santa's pocket and he's glad to see you...

4. At fully assembled dinner table, Dancer awkwardly announces that he's living with Prancer.

3. Bin Laden sticks his head out of Ground Zero. If he sees his shadow, it's six more years of a Bush White House.

2. You can't believe your luck at the Macy's sale when you buy the Brooklyn Bridge for $9.00 worth of beads!

And the number one sign it's Christmas in Manhattan...

1. Al Quaeda has three fully-loaded hijacked angels flying directly into your Christmas tree.

And to all a good night!

-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/15/02)