TOP TEN REASONS JENNIFER AND BRAD BROKE UP

Top Ten Reasons Jennifer and Brad Broke Up

10. Contrary to popular belief, SHE would always Bogart the joint.

9. He wanted to have kids; she wanted to date an actor.

8. Every night is was the same tired thing: TV, beer, then routine sex with the most beautiful person in the world.

7. He couldn't stand her (...wait for it...) Friends. (Get it? It's a wacky "Friends" pun! That never happens in print coverage of Jennifer Aniston!)

6. Once Britney and Jason Alexander broke up they realized ANY celebrity couple could fail.

5. He kept working on that damn truck all weekend and wouldn't even come in when hot supper was ready.

4. Money.

3. He kept wanting to have a threesome with Angelina Jolie; she kept wanting to have a threesome with David Gest.

2. Scheduled divorce before awards season so they could capitalize on the inevitable awkward meeting on the red carpet.

And the number one reason Jennifer and Brad broke up...

1. It's more like Ocean's 4 or 5, if you know what I mean.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(01/11/05)