TOP TEN SIGNS YOU WORK FOR KEEBLER

Top Ten Signs You Work For Keebler

10. Recruiters from North Pole keep offering you a 10% raise, HMO, Dental, and 401k to come work for Santa.

9. Your paycheck is written on a graham cracker and covered in rich, creamy fudge.

8. Thugs from Hostess are always driving by late at night bustin' caps at your tree.

7. Your intern's dress is stained with Creme Filling.

6. You donated half your earnings to the new Herve Villechaize wing at the Smithsonian.

5. You swear you'll scream if one more gas station attendant tells you to "follow the yellow brick road" the next time you ask for directions.

4. The Pillsbury Doughboy claims he didn't give you that yeast infection.

3. Your last performance evaluation described your work as "Fudgetastic!" and your error rate as "wafer thin."

2. Your I.D. looks suspiciously like a Nutrition Label.

And the number one sign that you work for Keebler...

1. The Polaroids of your "secret" menage-a-trois with Little Debbie and Dolly Madison at last year's Christmas party have somehow surfaced on the net.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(11/25/98)