TOP TEN CHANGES IF MICROSOFT WERE RUN BY THE MOB

Top Ten Changes if Microsoft Were Run by the Mob

10. Programmers given character-trait nicknames like Joey "Fingers" C++ and Chan "Anti-Virus" Fong.

9. Netscape voluntarily removes it's search engine from the market and leaves town.

8. Error message informs user that deleted files "Sleep with the fishes."

7. Bill Gates kills an underperforming minion at dinner with his Autoexec Bat.

5. Steve Jobs played by Joe Pesci in the made-for-cable movie.

4. Suppliers who don't "play ball" find themselves tossed through a Window98.

3. New ad slogan: "Use a Mac and Get Whacked"

2. Net access controlled by a 350 pound Sicilian mute.

And the number one change if Microsoft were run by the mob...

1. Microsoft STILL dominates the market with underhanded business practices.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/24/99)