TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE AN AUTO INSURANCE CLAIMS ADJUSTER

Top Ten Signs You Are an Auto Insurance Claims Adjuster

10. You promise to love, honor, and cherish your wife, except for purposes of worker's compensation, fidelity, suretyship, and boiler and machinery commercial lines.

9. You pay your child five dollars a week allowance not to exceed $250.00 per annum unless chores were committed flagrantly and in conscious disregard of Subsection 1.1(c), or in bad faith creating unreasonable delay, or performed in an unworkmanlike manner resulting in the suspension or revocation of the child's license.

8. You indemnify your cat.

7. You refer to your son's Boy Scout Troop as "that little reciprocal exchange fraternal benefit society."

6. You delay orgasm by requiring a formal proof of loss form and subsequent verification that results in duplication of information and verification appearing in the formal proof of loss form.

5. You open a restaurant and charge $5,662.21 for an omelet - calculated as the lifetime earning potential of the three chickens that died to make the omelet.

4. During the playoffs you refuse to acknowledge any third-party family members for a period of fifteen (15) calendar days.

3. You drop draft a dozen roses to your wife in partial settlement for failure to exhibit property in a reasonable and timely manner and for breech of policy on or before the anniversary of your nuptial contract.

2. You subrogate the fine coffee normally served with Folger's Crystals.

And the number one sign you are an auto insurance claims adjuster...

1. You explain to your three-year-old that she can't have the candy until she recovers a deductible upon the first party claimant's request, if any, and the deduction may then be for only a pro-rata share of the allocated loss adjustment expense in reasonable proportion to the candy including but not limited to betterment and depreciation.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/11/02)

And the alternate...

That's a policy in his pocket and he's NOT glad to see you.