Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
In 2009 I resolve to...
10. Quit selling used dental floss on Ebay as new
9. Unload three of my personal firearms
8. Stop making my sushi talk in a tiny shrimp voice before eating it
7. Yodel less
6. Spit more
5. Lose ten, no wait, five. Okay three pounds. Lose two pounds and spit a lot to make up for it
4. Learn computers
3. Buy a toothbrush, hairbrush, and paintbrush
2. Leave less DNA evidence lying around
And the number one new year's resolution...
1. Bring sexy back
-Jason Rohrblogger
(1/10/09)
And the alternates...
Finish freebasing M&Ms
Buy less apology jewelry
Go to my special place
Remember the children
You forgot to:
ReplyDeletedonate all nose/back/facial hair to the homeless
never underestimate the IQ of a blonde cheerleader
ask directions from everyone behind the counter at the local gas station
and learn to burp the National Anthem.
HOW ARE YA BUDDY???
I am facebooking and blogging again. Didn't mean to ignore you but I have been battling the Hormonal Hell Devils. Think I am winning now.
My resolution:
ReplyDeleteAnswer my phone more. LMAO