Top Ten Politically Correct Christmas Carols
10. Frosty the Snowperson
9. I'm Dreaming of a Multicultural Christmas
8. O Come Let us Adore Him or Her
7. Jolly Mature Morally-Gifted Nicholas
6. Rudolph the Recovering-Alcoholic Reindeer-American
5. Vertically Challenged Drummer Child of Undetermined Gender
4. Oh Holiday Tree
3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter
2. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over by a Non-Human Perpetrator
1. I'll be Home for a Short Period of Time in December
-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/14/10)
And the alternates...
Rudolph the Differently-abled Reindeer
Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Maintained Continuously Monitored Nontoxic Eco-friendly Outdoor Fire for which I do Have a Permit
Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlepeople
Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits)
Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings
I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection
We Wish You a Merry Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter
Oh Come all Ye of Extreme Loyalty to Non-Material Evidence
Oh Devout Night
O Little Town of Palestinian Joint Rule
We Three Misogynist Autocrats of Eastern Asia Are
Sadly, I think item nine would get kicked for having the word "Christmas" in there.
ReplyDeleteRight on, A.B. The goose-stepping stormtroopers of the politically correct would have a shit-fit!
ReplyDelete"I'm dreaming of a multicultural Holiday.
With every Holiday card I write,
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your Holidays be multicultural."
Right on Alonzo! Twuz da nite befo Critmus an' all ober da hood, ereybody wuz sleepin; dey wuz sleepin' good...
ReplyDelete