Jason Rohrblogger's Top Ten...

Top Ten Phrases in My Online Dating Profile 10. Disease-free 9. In the hizzy 8. Ferret-like 7. Bootylicious 6. Harvard 5. Sexytime 4. Unctuo...

Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving but Aren't 10. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in 9. I didn't expect everyon...

Best. Email. Ever. My cousin sent me the following during hiatus... Everyday I wake up, get ready for school, grab my backpack and get into ...

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Be Posting for Awhile 10. Now I have to find the real killers AND get OJ's memorabilia back 9. Must. Save. ...

Top Ten Rejected Kool-Aid Flavors 10. Meadowlark Lemon 9. Statutory Grape 8. Strawberiberi 7. Cherry Seinfeld 6. Wang Dang Sweet Orange ...

Top Ten Pat Robertson Quotes 10. "Over 100 years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that's held our country together is ...

Top Ten Jason Rohrblogger Magazine Headlines 10. Lists with Less Than Ten Items: Should They Be Posted? 9. Internet Porn for Dummies 8. Bo...

Top Ten Lies I Have Told 10. I don't know how that got there 9. Those are the original miles 8. I don't like it when you touch me ...

Bad Break Up Deux Dear Wells Fargo Bank, You've known this was coming before I did. We've had a good, long run: 28 years. I was elev...

Top Ten Paul Newman Quotes 10. If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it...

Top Ten Rejected Drugs 10. Hairy Speedball 9. Strawberry Heroin 8. Pepsicaine 7. Preparation Itch 6. Angel Rust 5. Malibu Barbiturates ...

Top Ten Phrases in My Quarterly Review 10. Unauthorized 9. Unsatisfactory 8. Unproductive 7. Unsupervised 6. Unnecessary 5. Unthinkable 4. U...

Top Ten Lines that Sound Dirty in Star Wars but Aren't 10. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. 9. Cu...

Top Ten Signs Your Novel will not Win a PEN/Faulkner Award 10. Your theme: Bitch better have my money 9. Your plot: Man vs Cake 8. Main char...

Top Ten Sarah Palin Pet Peeves 10. Public private jets 9. MySpace 7. Full household uteri that aren't hers 6. Community organizers 5...

Top Ten Sarah Palin Turn-ons 10. Pro-life hunters 9. Hockey proms 8. State troopers who resign 7. Shotgun weddings 6. Presidential nomin...

Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All Time Redux Awhile back I published this list and it has remained VERY popular. I get 20 to 30 hits a day j...

Top Ten Jerry Seinfeld Quotes 10. I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? 9. A two-year-old is...

Top Ten Infrequently Asked Questions 10. They shoot horses, don't they? 9. Is this the beer line? 8. Are you my mommy? 7. If a pictur...

Big thanks to Jack over at Fat Jack's Erratic Rants for linking to my Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty in the Bible but Aren't lis...

Most menus read like they were written in a hyperbolic chamber . Herewith are my... Top Ten Menu Descriptions of Jason Rohrblogger's Top...

Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty in the Bible but Aren't 10. "And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wo...

Top Ten Rejected Municipal Slogans for California Cities 10. No Hoes Like Tahoes 9. Get Baked in Bakersfield 8. Gilroy: Garlic Breath Capi...

Top Ten Surprises at My High School Reunion 10. That one girl who started having babies in high school - and never stopped 9. The kids who w...

Crumblord recently posted about how lame Muppet Babies are . Nobody puts babies in a corner! Herewith are my... Top Ten Rejected Baby Versi...

Fifty Rita Rudner Quotes on Men 50. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he ...

Top Ten Rejected Summer Olympic Events 10. Superbadminton 9. Crack and Field 8. Salma Kayak 7. Water Polio 6. Synchronized Bitching 5. ...

Props I like my gossip like I like my guacamole: spicy. I'm sending much love out to Spicy Pants over at Celebrity Smack for linking t...

Top Ten Classes I'd Like to See Offered in High School 10. Beginning Marriage Pre-requisites: Debate, Advanced Boyfriend/Girlfriend (Can...

Top Ten Pickup Lines for Nerds 10. You're hotter than a bunsen burner 9. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus...

Top Ten Heckler Excuses 10. Thought this was an AA meeting 9. Just happy to be out of the trailer park for awhile 8. Want to try karaoke c...

Top Ten Surprises in the Mr. Peanut Autobiography 10. Jimmy Carter grew more than nuts 9. California Raisins? Gay as a rainbow dolphin. 8....

Top Ten Signs You are Spending Too Much Time at the Airport 10. You step through the golden arches and automatically remove your belt and sh...

Top Ten Rejected Baywatch Sequels 10. Baywitch 9. Maybach 8. Baymitch 7. Maybitch 6. Haywatch 5. Jaywalk 4. Sandwich 3. Gaywatch 2. ...

Top Ten Superman Complaints About Batman 10. That ridiculous cowl he uses to hide his identity when all he really needs is a good pair of gl...

Top Ten Phrases I Would Like Used at My Funeral 10. Finally off the junk 9. Ninja-like 8. Huge "Sound of Music" fan 7. Okay-sme...

Top Ten P.J. O'Rourke Quotes 10. The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the ...

Top Ten Television Shows in Afghanistan 10. Mr. Bean Laden 9. Who's Mine is it, Anyway? 8. Talibandstand 7. My Three...Whoops! Make t...

Top Ten Signs You are Patriotic 10. There's an Army patch sewn onto your arm 9. Your fave My Little Pony? Betsy Hoss 8. You are rednec...

Top Ten Things Overheard at the SAG/AFTRA Negotiations 10. Go ahead...make more pay 9. Will this slow down production on the next "Po...

Top Ten Items Found at the Pamela Anderson Estate Sale 10. Slightly used Valtrex 9. Set of three leftover back tattoos 8. Pilot script for...

Top Ten Jason Tips for Dealing with the Heat 10. Conserve water by drinking plenty of vodka 9. Ranch dressing has an SPF of 10 8. Rock and...

Shout Out Darby Clark over at Muse With Me states I'm talented, smart, and funny. Well, I AM funny. But looks aren't everything... ...

Top Ten Amy Winehouse Excuses 10. Is simply misunderstood 9. Did it all for the nookie 8. New bacon ranch flavored heroin is sooooo gooooo...

Budweiser finally took my suggestion and came up with a Family Pack of beer! After all, the family that drinks together...um...stinks(?) tog...

Top Ten Surprises in The Incredible Hulk Sequel 10. Hulk Gay! 9. Will eventually run for governor of California 8. Purina Hulk Chow really...

Top Ten Baby Names for Brad and Angelina's Twins 10. Bo and Luke 9. Arm and Peach Pitt 8. Rumor and Scout 7. Joanie and Jody Joli 6....

Top Ten Surprises in Scott McClellan's Book about the White House 10. Bush almost appointed Jack Daniels to the Supreme Court 9. Cheney...

Bad Breakup Dear Kenneth Cole, Ken! Ken, Kenny, what can I say? We've had a great run. It's not me, it's you. Let me start by me...

Top Ten Rejected Mars Lander Experiments 10. Go out at night, eatin' cars. Eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercurys and Subarus 9. Test th...

Rohrblogger out My landlord discovered the basement where I have been keeping my underage polygamous family underground for the last twenty-...

Top Ten Rap Operas 10. Pimpmalion 9. Get Rich or Die Tristan und Isolde 8. Mah Ho Go Knee 7. Red Manon 6. The Fairy-Queen Latifah 5. Le...

Survey Says... Fill these out and post your answers in my comments anonymously. I want to really get to know you, without, er, well, knowing...

My dear friend Sherri outside of Phoenix, AZ has joined "The Souls" writing group on Yahoo. She forwarded me this exercise: pick u...