TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT HAVING JASON AS YOUR UNCLE

Note: My sister recently had a baby boy. You can check out the pictures at http://benbabyboy.blogspot.com

Top Ten Good Things About Having Jason As Your Uncle

10. Guaranteed a legacy spot in both Skull & Bones AND Riker's Island

9. Your every moment documented and published on the web at http://benbabyboy.blogspot.com

8. There's a really bitchin' 1991 Honda Civic waiting for you with only 1.4 million miles on it

7. Jewish/Christian hybrid religion results in Bristmas

6. "Professionals" hired to "take out" your piñata with a high powered rifle so you won't have to beat it with a stick

5. His Kool-Aid is already laced wth Ritalin

4. When Uncle Jason takes you to watch Bambi, YOU get to put the dollar in her g-string...

3. Snacktime becomes naptime with Goldfish Crackers and Goldschläger shots

2. Won't hit on your girlfriends from pre-school because they are too old for him

And the number one good thing about having Jason as your uncle...

1. Baptism involves a Jacuzzi filled with champagne

-Jason Rohrschläger
(10/15/05)