TOP TEN HEADLINES AT THE NORTH POLE ENQUIRER

Top Ten Headlines at the North Pole Enquirer

10. Mrs. Claus to K-Fed: 'Guide My Sleigh Tonight?'

9. Elf Bites Deer

8. Naughty List at Record High; Bush, bin Laden To Get Coal

7. Do You Hear What Area Man Hears?

6. U.S. Resumes Bombing on Island of Misfit Toys

5. Eyewitness: 'Mommy Kissed Santa Claus'

4. Grand Jury Indicts Grinch on Three Counts of Christmas Theft

3. Tiny Tim at 16: 'Get Bent'

2. Breakthrough in Three Kings Case; Suspects of Orient Are

And the number one headline at the North Pole Enquirer...

1. Jesus to Little Drummer Boy: 'Knock It Off'
LDB: 'Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum'

-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/10/02)