CRAPTASTIC MEME

This questionnaire was so off-the-wall that I simply had to comply... Behold its craptastic goodness! Feel free to participate, and enjoy.

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
You mean, besides with your mom?

Are you gay?
Your mom is gay

Do you have hairy legs?
Your mom does

Do you smoke anything?
Ham and turkey

Do you like monkeys?
I spank my monkey. He is, after all, naughty

How many fillings do you have?
Four, bitches

Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
I would like to swim in a lake inside the ocean

Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Is that what I licked? A square battery?

Have you ever read the Bible?
Yes

Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Throughout my entire youth

Do you wear a lot of black?
Perhaps

Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
My bare hands...

Have you ever hugged a tree?
Probably

Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Duh! I've worked for several...

Describe your hair?
Dirrty, dirrty blonde

Are you a wildbeast?
No. I'm a wildebeest

Do you like to have fun?
This quiz is superfruity

Do you like drama?
See answer above

Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Yes. And I hit the bong right back

Do you like mayonnaise?
Bring me the buttah

Are you afraid to die?
Right now, like, this minute? No

Do you like playing in leaves?
Can I smoke them?

Do you like lyme ticks?
They're delicious. When you roast them they have a nutty flavor

Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
I quit wetting the bed. Last night

Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult?
Right now? Yes

Are you an adult?
Heh. No

Ever won a spelling bee?
I won a pissing bee

Do you ever eat because you are depressed?
I eat for any reason at all. Precious, life-giving food

Are you a television addict?
What's a television?

Do you think OJ is guilty?
I'm waiting for him to find the real killer or killers

Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Well, your mom seemed to like it when I was spending time with her last night

Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
Yes. And it's not as fun as it sounds

On a swing?
Yes

Do you like Elvis?
Indeed

Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel?
I enjoy watching your mom "do it" on the Discovery channel

Ever been hit on at a zoo?
Yeah, your mom really digs me

Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
Only a partial stranger

Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys?
Must have something to do with the tryptophan

Does your mom think someone is hot?
My mom likey-likey some Sam Elliot

Are you a sugar freak?
I'm sugar free

Ever been arrested?
Unh-uh

Ever commit a crime and get away with it?
Being this funny has got to be illegal

Do you like orange juice?
It gives me heartburn

What sign are you?
Pisces. Smell the fish, baby

Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Sure, I like to watch their dentures fall out from laughing

Where do you wish you were right now?
Take me to my special place, take me to my special place, take me...

Did you enjoy this?
Your mom enjoyed this

-Jason Rohrblogger
(07/09/06)