TOP TEN REASONS YOUR RENTAL CAR IS NOT READY

Top Ten Reasons Your Rental Car Is Not Ready

10. Somebody better looking than you came by, without a reservation, and we just gave it to them

9. The "B" in Budget stands for "broken"

8. No vehicle will be released until the driver complies with our strict "No Pants" policy

7. You probably made a reservation but we lost it during one of our
frequent drunken brawls

6. The vehicle was picked up by Secret Service agents who suspiciously asked of we were running a Ford "Escort" Service

5. Your sub-compact will be delivered to you once the family of
Russian squatters moves out

4. Your rental is being serviced by our highly motivated staff of
factory trained squirrels

3. There's probably an astroid headed towards the earth right now and our total annihilation is imminent so what difference does it make if your Elantra is a few minutes late?

2. We've secretly replaced all of the cars in our fleet with Folger's
Crystals

And the number one reason your rental car is not ready...

1. Old Man Budget says the only form of payment we can accept anymore is aluminum cans

-Jason Rohrblogger
(09/21/98)