Top Ten Reindeer Pet Peeves
10. Naughty List weighs 2.3 metric tons this year
9. Mrs. Claus' Jerkyworks & Glue Factory
8. Depletion of their natural habitat, the reinforest
7. Rudolph's nose always draws RPG fire during stops in Fallujah
6. Dasher won't break up with that girlfriend nobody can stand
5. Purina Reindeer Chow mostly sawdust and apple cores
4. Easter Bunny always leaves floating clot of hair in the Jacuzzi
3. The way Santa insists on riding an alligator through New Orleans
2. Dancer swears Elton John wrote that song about him
And the number one reindeer pet peeve...
1. Nobody ran over grandma. She tripped and fell with a blood-eggnog level of 1.1. It's all there in the police report
-Jason Rohrblogger
(11/29/06)
And the alternates...
Donner won't fly on the Sabbath
Overnight stops at the Mustang Ranch
Sleigh bells that chafe
Blitzen always blitzed
Santa won't do Slim Fast, Atkins, or gastric bypass
Prancer's lisp
I'm trying not to picture what the Easter Bunny is doing with the reindeer in the hot tub.
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays, Jason! :) XOXOX