Jason Rohrblogger's Top Ten...

Top Ten Signs it is Christmas in Phoenix, Arizona 10. Stockings hung by the chimichanga with care  9. No room at the inn, baby Jesus ha...

Top Ten Signs it is Hanukkah in Phoenix, Arizona 10. Kids spin fully automatic assault dreidel made of clay  9. Bubbe serves gefilte ta...

Top Ten Signs it is Christmas in Bakersfield, California 10. Eight tiny reindeer spotted in high density feed lot at Harris Ranch ...

Top Ten Signs it is Hanukkah in Bakersfield, California 10. Chevron fracks enough oil for one night, but it lasts for eight  9. M...

Top Ten Signs Santa is Getting Too Old for This 10. Candy cane replaced with actual cane  9. Reindeer games now only bingo and shuffle...

After overhearing a colleague on the phone this morning, I wrote this quick " Onion "-style article: Area Man in Plush High-...

Top Ten Fill-in-the-Blanks for "I'd Like to ______ Her _______." 10. Pork, beans  9. Batten down, hatches  8. Wax, car...

A friend is opening a bakery and asked for name suggestions. Here are some currant egg samples... Top Ten Rejected Bakeries 10. Thorough...

Top Ten Cynical  Valentine's Day Quotes 10. "Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight." -Phyllis Diller  9. "Once ...

Top Ten Rejected Cookie Fortunes 10. Work hard and you will receive your reward tomorrow. In the afterlife.  9. Do not worry. God sees a...

It appears that, by listing every ache and pain, there are folks on the internet getting more attention than me. This will not stand. Quintu...

10. He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows if you're awake all night playing Angry Birds 9. Sent his request to @Rudolph #Wont...

101 Things I Want to Do Before I Die 1. Run for Mayor of Funkytown 2. Go to the Wailing Wall and yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!" 3. ...

Note: a friend is opening up a pet food store in Chandler, AZ and has solicited help with store names. Herewith are my... Top Ten Pet Food...

Top Ten Banned Phrases 2011 10. LOL 9. Mortgage meltdown 8. Fail 7. BFF 6. Refudiate 5. Friend as a verb 4. Man up 3. _____ ...

Note: Los Angeles has had unprecedented precipitation breaking all records for the month of December. Herewith are my... Top Ten Rain One ...

Top Ten Rejected Christmas Television Specials 10. A Very Special Awkward Aunt Meets Drunken Uncle Christmas 9. A Very Special Ludachris...

Santa's Top Ten Rejected Reindeer 10. Boner 9. Blitzed 8. Surly 7. Vexed 6. Lazy 5. Rudolph the Red Nosed Giuliani 4. Bash...

Here's another one of those stupid quizzes I love. FAVE SONG: Baby Got Back (I like big butts and I cannot lie) LADIES: SUPERMAN OR ...

Top Ten Politically Correct Christmas Carols 10. Frosty the Snowperson 9. I'm Dreaming of a Multicultural Christmas 8. O Come Let ...

Top Ten Rejected Euphemisms for Santa Going Down the Chimney 10. Gleaming the tube 9. The full Mary Poppins 8. Donning the sweet soot ...

Top Ten WikiLeaks Surprises 10. Angela Merkel secretly likes it when George W. Bush rubs her shoulders after a hard day at the summit 9...

Top Ten Ways to Quit Smoking 10. Smoke twenty joints in one day instead 9. Completely stop eating or having sex 8. Receive one pie i...

I have some friends with the last name Bobroff who are having a baby. They don't know the sex yet, but have solicited name suggestions.....

My cousin, Stephanie , is spending four months on a ship traveling the world for Semester at Sea . She is blogging her experiences over at S...

Top Ten Signs You Are Spending Too Much Time on Facebook 10. Your kids are hungry, the lawn is dead, and mail spills out of the box, but y...

Top Ten Economy One-liners The economy is so bad that... 10. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail 9. African television stat...

Jason makes Celebrity Smack again ! I originally bought Crystal Head Vodka because of the cool bottle. Then I discovered it is really good...

Here you go, Karen... Top Ten Birthday Quotes 10. To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. -Bernard Baruch 9. I'm...

A big thank-you to Jack over at Fat Jack's Erratic Rants for linking to my British Petroleum Excuses list and flooding my fragile blo...

Top Ten TV Show Titles that Describe My Life 10. 10 Things I Hate about You 9. Breaking Bad 8. Lie to Me 7. Are You Smarter than ...

Top Ten Signs You are Spending Too Much Time in Traffic 10. No blood in your butt 9. You've gone three blocks in the last hour 8...

Top Ten British Petroleum Excuses 10. Oil tankers burn fuel and pollute. Trying to deliver crude oil to the shore by all-natural wave acti...

Top Ten Vodkas 10. Skyy 9. Russian Standard 8. Smirnoff 7. Cîroc 6. Stolichnaya 5. Absolut 4. Belvedere 3. Grey Goos...

Top Ten Rejected Books of the Bible 10. The Gospel According to Moishe 9. Genesis without Phil Collins 8. Numb3rs 7. Ruth Does Gomor...

Top Ten Signs Your Car Bomb is a Dud 10. While festive, filling your payload with silly string and confetti will not increase the impact ...

Top Ten Rejected Men's Magazines 10. Unpopular Mechanics 9. Economy Car Digest 8. Cosmo Kramer Politan 7. Gentlemen's Bic...

A big thank-you to Spicy Pants over at Celebrity Smack for linking to my Pope Benedict Excuses list and blowing up my stats like Sandra B...

Top Ten Pope Benedict Excuses 10. Those altar boys were asking for it the way they were wearing those vestments 9. A few bad apostles a...

Top Ten Ladies 10. Godiva 9. Bird Johnson 8. In Waiting 7. Luck 6. Fingers 5. Chatterly's Lover 4. Bug 3. Liberty...

Top Ten Goldman Sachs Excuses 10. Thought working folks would be more willing to give up their pension plans to fund executive bonuses ...

Top Ten Rejected Taverns 10. DUI Fridays 9. Derivatives 8. Owl's 7. Archie's Bunker 6. Molester's 5. Mile Fifteen Ga...

Top Ten Rejected Prom Themes 10. Voyage to the Bottom of My Pants 9. Almost Pregnant 8. The Mourning After 7. Fleeting Youth 6. Th...

Top Ten Signs California is Bankrupt 10. Retirees now given a handshake and a can of soup 9. Elementary schools converted directly to pr...

Top Ten Rejected Panda Express Menu Items 10. Baby Greens and Baby Panda 9. Sweet and Sour Bologna 8. Octopusicle 7. Fire-roasted Ch...

Top Ten Reasons Jesus Returned After Three Days 10. Couldn't wait to see the look on Thomas' face 9. Lost His halo at the craps ...

Top Ten Places I've Hidden My Easter Eggs 10. In the eviscerated belly of a frozen Tauntaun 9. Offshore egg shelter 8. Omelet 7...

Top Ten Signs You are not Going to Win a Nobel Prize 10. Your complete body of research documents how many licks it takes to get to the ce...

I got tagged over at Facebook for one of these surveys... 1. What time did you get up this morning? The butt crack of noon 2. How do yo...

Top Ten Projects in Development at Ford 10. An alternative fuel that provides 150 miles per gallon in a Focus, eight miles per gallon in a...

A big thank you to Spicy Pants over at Celebrity Smack for linking to my Things I Don't Get About Facebook list and blowing up my sta...

Top Ten Things I Don't Get About Facebook 10. What's with the layout? 9. What's with all the updates about other people'...

Top Ten Reasons to Fear The Reaper 10. Not really trained to use scythe 9. Halitosis 8. Is congressman who likes little boys 7. Also...

An open letter to Rose DeWitt Bukater: Oh, Kate Winslet. Sorry to hear you and Sam Mendes split . Now that you are single, I will be avail...

Top Ten Rejected Slogans for Whiskey 10. Goes down easy, comes up smooth 9. Just screw it! 8. The thicker chicker liquor upper 7....

Jack over at Fat Jack's Erratic Rants writes, "Jason. When are you going to feature your number one Internet fan and promoter in ...

Top Ten Awards Show Thank-you Speeches I'd Like to See 10. "Thank you New Beginnings Tucson for getting me cleaned up enough to b...

Top Ten Food Related Band Names 10. Cream 9. Bread 8. Cake 7. The Cranberries 6. Meatloaf 5. Bananarama 4. Humble Pie ...

Top Ten Country Songs for Cyberspace 10. It's Over Cuz I Caught Him Swapping GIFS with My Best Friend 9. You Done Ripped Out My NT-1...

Today's list was stolen wholesale from Lemon Drop . Top Ten Annoying Couple Types 10. The Newly Engaged - No one has ever been as ha...

Top Ten Surprises in Andrew Young's book about John Edwards 10. John once hiked the Appalachian Trail with Mark Sanford 9. Elizabet...

Gold medal shout out to Jack over at Fat Jack's Erratic Rants for covering my Top Ten Winter Sports I'd Like to See list and post...

Top Ten Winter Sports I'd Like to See 10. Ice Pole Dancing 9. Cold Beer Pong 8. Shaming 7. Synchronized Skiing 6. Curling Chee...

Top Ten Surprises in the Sarah Palin Magazine 10. Her recipe for stuffed salmon calls for 15bbl of crude oil 9. Wishes James Garner woul...

Top Ten Valentine's Gifts Tiger Woods is Getting Elin Nordegren 10. One billion Swedish Krona 9. Two hours in the conjugal visit tra...

Top Ten Ways I am Exactly Like My Father 10. I sit at home alone a drink scotch 9. I have a scraggly grey beard 8. I feud with friends...

Top Ten Self-descriptive Phrases 10. Incompl te 9. WeIrD cAsE 8. ©λ@ℜα⊄Ψ∃Γ $µß§+|⊥∪∏¡ðℵ 7. esrever 6. I am disappointment in gramm...

Top Ten Rejected Folgers Crystals Flavors 10. Folgers Crystal Meth 9. Ray Bolger's Crystals 8. Folgers Crystal Light 7. Mulde...

Top Ten Current Conan O'Brien Job Offers 10. Simpsons writer 9. Barbarian 8. Junior senator from Massachusetts 7. Ginger Spic...

I originally ran this post back in October of 2008 . It gets repeated today along with Messr. Robertson's most recent bon mot regardi...