TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN TRAFFIC

Top Ten Signs You are Spending Too Much Time in Traffic

10. No blood in your butt

9. You've gone three blocks in the last hour

8. Your family celebrated their last four Christmases in the passenger seat

7. Red light camera has more pictures of you than Facebook

6. Your DNA is now 50% exhaust

5. Waited so long to clear the intersection, your tags have expired

4. Completely out of ammo (Los Angeles only)

3. A crippled three-toed sloth stopped for a nap and still beat you to the light

2. Traffic report is thirty seconds of the DJ screaming obscenities and questioning the existence of a cruel God who mocks our very attempts at transportation

And the number one sign you are spending too much time in traffic...

1. Have just enough time to fuel up between drive-thrus

-Jason Rohrblogger
(5/22/10)