Jason Rohrblogger's Top Ten...

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Monday, March 27, 2006

TOP TEN SIGNS TINY DANCER IS TURNING THIRTY

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Top Ten Signs Tiny Dancer Is Turning Thirty 10. Jell-O shots now a full 30% Jell-O 9. Trades in novelty burlesque "On Golden Blonde...
3 comments:
Friday, March 24, 2006

TOP TEN REJECTED PRODUCTS FROM HASBRO

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Note: Today's guest blogger is Robert Van Deven Top Ten Rejected Products From Hasbro 10. Wrestle-mania fist of death Barbie 9. Crabs i...
Friday, March 17, 2006

TOP TEN REJECTED CALIFORNIA-THEMED BARBIE DOLLS

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Top Ten Rejected California-themed Barbie Dolls 10. Rancho Palos Verdes Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's. She com...
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

THEN VS. NOW

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Yet even more e-mail spam... THEN and NOW THEN: Long hair NOW: Longing for hair THEN: KEG NOW: EKG THEN: Acid rock NOW: Acid reflux THEN: Mo...
2 comments:
Friday, March 10, 2006

GEORGE BUSH'S TOP TEN THREATS TO AMERICA

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George Bush's Top Ten Threats to America 10. Activist Judges 9. Porn 8. Osama's Homo Abortion Jizzporium 7. The Price of Oil of O...
1 comment:
Tuesday, March 07, 2006

MY REVIEW

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I submitted myself for review over at I Talk 2 Much . I got the reviewer called Princess Pottymouth. They all have great avatars over there,...
Monday, March 06, 2006

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE CARRYING TOM CRUISE'S BABY

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Top Ten Signs You Are Carrying Tom Cruise's Baby 10. Heart-monitor beeps out theme to Mission: Impossible 9. Child already same height ...
4 comments:
Thursday, March 02, 2006

TOP TEN ANNA NICOLE SMITH ARGUMENTS BEFORE THE SUPREME COURT

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Top Ten Anna Nicole Smith Arguments Before the Supreme Court 10. If the love doesn't fit, you must acquit 9. Compliment Sandra Day O...
Sunday, February 26, 2006

TOP TEN THINGS THAT USED TO ROCK AND NOW SUCK

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Top Ten Things That Used to Rock and Now Suck 10. McDonald's 9. Robin Williams 8. Star Wars 7. Movies in General 6. Drugs and Alcoho...
Friday, February 24, 2006

TOP TEN REJECTED WINTER OLYMPIC SPORTS

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Top Ten Rejected Winter Olympic Sports 10. All-You-Can-Eat Buffet 9. Gender-Optional Ice Dancing 8. Aprés Ski 7. Snoop Dogg's Lot-Mo...
2 comments:
Saturday, February 18, 2006

TOP TEN BURGER KING TURN-ONS

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Top Ten Burger King Turn-0ns 10. Melting the Dairy Queen 9. Catsuptinis 8. Drive-thru relationships 7. Onion Ring Tones 6. All-beef Patr...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

TOP TEN REASONS "DEAD EYE" DICK CHENEY SHOT HARRY WHITTINGTON

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Top Ten Reasons "Dead Eye" Dick Cheney Shot Harry Whittington 10. Thought he saw Osama bin Laden coming out of his hidey-hole 9. ...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY ON VALENTINE'S DAY BUT AREN'T

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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty on Valentine's Day but Aren't 10. I always poke 'em with my finger first to see what's insid...
Saturday, February 11, 2006

TOP TEN VALENTINE'S QUOTES

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Top Ten Valentine's Quotes 10. "Love heightens all senses - except the common." -Mark Twain 9. Marianne: "Can love rea...
2 comments:
Thursday, February 09, 2006

TOP TEN VALENTINE'S MESSAGES ON AMISH CANDY HEARTS

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Top Ten Valentine's Messages on Amish Candy Hearts 10. Thou Art Hot 9. U Raise My Barn 8. My Jezebel 7. Rock My Buggy 6. 4 Keepeth ...
1 comment:
Thursday, February 02, 2006

TOP TEN PROJECTS IN DEVELOPMENT AT STARBUCKS

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Top Ten Projects in Development at Starbucks 10. Coffee-flavored heroin 9. Enya CD's with caffeine 8. Intravenous travel mug 7. Juan ...
1 comment:
Thursday, January 26, 2006

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR OPRAH BOOK CLUB MEMOIR IS NOT REAL

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Top Ten Signs Your Oprah Book Club Memoir Is Not Real 10. Protagonist named Figment "Ficty" McFiction 9. Author notes state she w...
2 comments:
Sunday, January 22, 2006

MEME-O-RAMA

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Meme-O-Rama Zeeks and Jenn have passively tagged me... Four Jobs I've Had: 1. Insurance Litigation Specialist 2. Film Producer 3. Dini...
1 comment:
Saturday, January 21, 2006

TOP TEN REJECTED NATIONAL MONUMENTS

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Top Ten Rejected National Monuments 10. Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington Monument 9. Carlsbadass Caverns 8. Samue...
Saturday, January 14, 2006

TOP TEN CHANGES IF MICROSOFT WERE RUN BY THE MOB

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Top Ten Changes if Microsoft Were Run by the Mob 10. Programmers given character-trait nicknames like Joey "Fingers" C++ and Chan ...
Sunday, January 08, 2006

TOP TEN PROJECTS IN DEVELOPMENT AT 7-11

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Top Ten Projects In Development At 7-11 10. Nachos on a stick 9. A microwave, with no knobs or door, that spits out your food when done 8...
1 comment:
Sunday, January 01, 2006

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

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Top Ten Least Popular New Year's Resolutions 10. Smoke more crack 9. Alphabetize all the soup 8. Upgrade from DOS to Windows 2.0 7. E...
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

TOP X REJECTED AMENDMENTS TO THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES

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Top X Rejected Amendments to the Constitution of the United States Amendment X: The right to do a little dance, make a little love, indeed t...
Saturday, December 24, 2005

MERRY SPAMAS

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Welcome to the 2005 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! You know the drill... 1. EGG NOG OR HOT CHOCOLATE? Hot nog-on-chocolate...
Thursday, December 22, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS IT'S CHRISTMAS IN LOS ANGELES

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Top Ten Signs It's Christmas in Los Angeles 10. Spent shells from your AK-47 sound like magical sleigh bells as they hit the sidewalk. ...
Monday, December 19, 2005

TOP TEN HEADLINES AT THE NORTH POLE ENQUIRER

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Top Ten Headlines at the North Pole Enquirer 10. Mrs. Claus to K-Fed: 'Guide My Sleigh Tonight?' 9. Elf Bites Deer 8. Naughty List...
Friday, December 16, 2005

TOP TEN BACHELOR CHRISTMAS ACTIVITIES

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Top Ten Bachelor Christmas Activities 10. The Drinking of the Beer 9. The Watching of the Game 8. The Lighting of the Fart 7. The Thawing...
Tuesday, December 13, 2005

TOP TEN THINGS FOUND IN ARIZONA AT CHRISTMAS

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Note: Today's guest list-writer is comedian Paul Deven... Top Ten Things Found in Arizona at Christmas 10. Eight tiny, dehydrated reinde...
1 comment:
Saturday, December 10, 2005

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR CHRISTMAS GIFTS

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Note: Today's guest list-writer is comedian Paul Deven... Top Ten Least Popular Christmas Gifts 10. Ronco Spurge-a-matic 9. "Openl...
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

AURORA ROCKS

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Once again Aurora Borealis over at Atomic Bombshell has featured me prominently in one of her posts . And she even threw in a reference to...
1 comment:

TOP TEN CHRISTMAS CAROLS IN IRAQ

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Top Ten Christmas Carols in Iraq 10. Bombs Away in a Manger 9. God Bless You Buried Gentlemen 8. We Three Kings of Orient Are Going to Lay...
1 comment:
Monday, December 05, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED CELEBRITY-ENDORSED HOLIDAY GIFTS

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Top Ten Rejected Celebrity-Endorsed Holiday Gifts 10. Pez brand Elton John Zoloft dispenser 9. Saddam Hussein Beard Lice Extermination Kit ...
2 comments:
Thursday, December 01, 2005

TOP TEN THREE WISE MEN PET PEEVES

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Top Ten Three Wise Men Pet Peeves 10. Traveling night and day for two years on the Orient-Bethlehem turnpike only to discover your camel...
1 comment:
Monday, November 28, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR CONGRESSMAN IS ACCEPTING BRIBES

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Top Ten Signs Your Congressman is Accepting Bribes 10. Demands tariffs to protect our domestic cocaine industry 9. Last three motions were ...
Wednesday, November 23, 2005

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR THANKSGIVING SIDE DISHES

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Top Ten Least Popular Thanksgiving Side Dishes 10. Porn Cone 9. Gibli 8. Rove Top Stuffing 7. Boat Gravy 6. Hash Potatoes 5. Candied La...
1 comment:
Saturday, November 19, 2005

TOP TEN SENSATIONAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE BIBLE

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Top Ten Sensational Newspaper Headlines in the Bible 10. Joseph: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" 9. Third Quart...
3 comments:
Thursday, November 17, 2005

TOP TEN PILGRIM PET PEEVES

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Top Ten Pilgrim Pet Peeves 10. Lousy reception on Pre-Columbian TV's 9. We ate turkey and stuffing LAST year 8. Indians who act like ...
1 comment:
Tuesday, November 15, 2005

TOP TEN THINGS THAT ARE BETTER IN THEORY THAN REALITY

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Top Ten Things That are Better in Theory than Reality 10. Network television 9. Threesomes 8. Movies that feature Ben Stiller 7. Sex on t...
Sunday, November 13, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE HIRED THE WRONG ATTORNEY

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Top Ten Signs You've Hired the Wrong Attorney 10. Asks if you want to super-size your subpoena 9. Thinks Mary Wilson is the strictest c...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005

TOP TEN PROJECTS IN DEVELOPMENT AT WAL-MART

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Top Ten Projects in Development at Wal-Mart 10. A 99¢ DVD player 9. Gift registration services for shotgun weddings, NFL arraignments, and N...
Friday, November 04, 2005

TOP TEN SPAM SUBJECT LINES IN IRAQ

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Top Ten SPAM Subject Lines in Iraq 10. Elevation h^gher than the population? Get your DEGREE from ANY cave! 9. Beheadings: 1/2-Off! 8. ...
1 comment:
Sunday, October 30, 2005

TOP TEN REASONS WHY JASON WILL BE ENVIOUS HE WASN'T IN VEGAS

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Top Ten Reasons Why Jason Will Be Envious He Wasn't in Vegas 10. Prego Bridgette had to eat every two hours, so WE had to eat every two...
1 comment:
Friday, October 28, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED COUNTRY BANDS

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Top Ten Rejected Country Bands 10. The Dicks See Chicks 9. *NBRED 8. Crooks & Dung 7. Clit Black 6. MegaMeth 5. Patty Braless 4. K...
2 comments:
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

DEAR ALCOHOL...

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I love me some e-mail SPAM... Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem...
1 comment:
Sunday, October 23, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU WORK FOR KEEBLER

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Top Ten Signs You Work For Keebler 10. Recruiters from North Pole keep offering you a 10% raise, HMO, Dental, and 401k to come work for San...
3 comments:
Wednesday, October 19, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED CALIFORNIA STATE MOTTOES

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Top Ten Rejected California State Mottoes 10. Where liberals grow as high as an elephant's eye. 9. The Disaster State 8. Ghetto-rific! 7...
Saturday, October 15, 2005

TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT HAVING JASON AS YOUR UNCLE

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Note: My sister recently had a baby boy. You can check out the pictures at http://benbabyboy.blogspot.com Top Ten Good Things About Having J...
1 comment:
Wednesday, October 12, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED STARBUCKS COFFEE FLAVORS

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Top Ten Rejected Starbucks Coffee Flavors 10. Beef-flavored Half Calf 9. Pave Mint 8. Caff-Fiend 7. White Chocolate Supremacist 6. Jitte...
1 comment:
Sunday, October 09, 2005

TA66ED F0R SE7ENS

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I know, memes are SO five minutes ago...but this is a LIST one. I got tagged by SJ over at Chronic Listaholic... Seven things I can do: 1...
3 comments:
Friday, October 07, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE BRITNEY SPEARS' CHILD

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Top Ten Signs You Are Britney Spears' Child 10. You are two hours old and you have a seven-figure deal to write a tell-all book about yo...
2 comments:
Wednesday, October 05, 2005

TOP TEN NAME IDEAS FOR JENN'S NEW DOG

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Top Ten Name Ideas for Jenn's New Dog 10. Atomic Dog 9. Trixiebelle Babykins Sparkle Fincham 8. Snoop Puppy Pupp 7. The Amazing Wond...
3 comments:
Sunday, October 02, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED SUPER-POWERS

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Top Ten Rejected Super-Powers 10. Ability to inflict your enemy with nagging self-doubt 9. Can recognize artist and song within first three ...
Tuesday, September 27, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED SUPERHERO WEAKNESSES

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Top Ten Rejected Superhero Weaknesses 10. Samsonite 9. Eggs make you gassy 8. Craving for chocolate 7. Blinded by science 6. Addiction to cr...
1 comment:
Saturday, September 24, 2005

TOP TEN PRODUCTS IN DEVELOPMENT AT DISNEYLAND

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Top Ten Products in Development at Disneyland 10. A priceless irreplaceable collectible heirloom that slowly dissolves and has to be replace...
1 comment:
Wednesday, September 21, 2005

CAR-SALESMAN-TO-ENGLISH TRANSLATOR

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=============================== Car-Salesman-To-English Translator =============================== WHEN THE CAR SALESMAN SAYS... HE MEANS......
2 comments:
Sunday, September 11, 2005

ACTUAL READER'S COMMENTS ON JRTT

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Actual Reader's Comments on JRTT "You seem to have a good sense of humor..." - Anonymous "I didn't know abo...
1 comment:
Thursday, September 08, 2005

TOP TEN REASONS YOUR HOTEL ROOM IS NOT READY

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Top Ten Reasons Your Hotel Room Is Not Ready 10. Don't ask me. The squirrels in my pants won't stop screaming! AHHHHHH! AHHHHhhhhhh....
Saturday, September 03, 2005

TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE NEW IRAQI CONSTITUTION

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Top Ten Surprises in the New Iraqi Constitution 10. Ten point Bill of Wrongs 9. Amendments must be ratified by a two-thirds vote and at lea...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005

JASON ROHRBLOGGER'S TOP TEN BLOG DAY PICKS

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Head over to the official website - http://blogday.wikispaces.org to see what it’s all about! In brief: For one long moment on August 31s...
2 comments:
Monday, August 29, 2005

TOP TEN REASONS ROBERT AND SARA ARE GETTING MARRIED

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Top Ten Reasons Robert and Sara are Getting Married 10. He's pregnant 9. Looking for any excuse to play The Carpenter's "We...
1 comment:
Friday, August 26, 2005

TOP TEN CHANGES IF JASON RAN THE SPECIAL FORCES

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Top Ten Changes if Jason Ran the Special Forces 10. Cyanide pills delivered in a Hitler-shaped Pez Dispenser. 9. Six week advanced training ...
Tuesday, August 23, 2005

INTERVIEW ME

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Thanks for the game Jenn ! If you would like me to interview you, the rules are posted at Zeek's place- just put "interview me...
3 comments:
Saturday, August 20, 2005

TOP TEN SECRET DUTIES OF THE MAYOR OF DISNEYWORLD

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Note: As part of its charter with the State of Florida, Disneyworld is it's own city with it's own zip code, sales tax, city council...
Wednesday, August 17, 2005

TOP TEN ISRAELI CONCESSIONS TO THE PALESTINIANS

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Top Ten Israeli Concessions to the Palestinians 10. Reclaim two holy sites, get one free. 9. On joint Israeli/Palestinian bowling teams, th...
Sunday, August 14, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED COMMANDMENTS

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Top Ten Rejected Commandments... 10. Thou shalt do a little dance, make a little love, verily thou shalt get down tonight. 9. Remember thi...
1 comment:
Tuesday, August 09, 2005

TOP TEN TITLES OF JASON'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY

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Top Ten Titles Of Jason's Autobiography 10. Laughter In My Pants: A life told from the point of view of a comedian's trousers. 9. H...
Saturday, August 06, 2005

TOP TEN SURPRISES IN CLINTON'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY

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Top Ten Surprises in Clinton's Autobiography 10. Once killed a man in a barfight over health care reform 9. Used the Special Forces to ...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED MONSTER TRUCK NAMES

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Top Ten Rejected Monster Truck Names 10. The Vomit Comet 9. Family Wagon of Doom 8. The Bible Thumper 7. Pablum Topfuel Chiffon Creamp...
1 comment:
Sunday, July 31, 2005

TOP TEN MONSTER TRUCK NAMES IF WOMEN RAN THE MONSTER TRUCK BIDNESS

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Top Ten Monster Truck Names If Women Ran The Monster Truck Bidness 10. Runs Good Make Offer 9. Mary Kay Maniac 8. Vaginal Dryness 7. T...
1 comment:
Thursday, July 28, 2005

TOP TEN L.A. AMUSEMENT PARKS AND ATTRACTIONS

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Top Ten L.A. Amusement Parks and Attractions 10. Shoot 'n' Loot: Where Miniature Golf Is A Riot! 9. Dr. Fahad's Discount Plasti...
Monday, July 25, 2005

TOP TEN BAGHWAN SHREE HAJ RASHNEESH PET PEEVES

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Top Ten Baghwan Shree Haj Rashneesh Pet Peeves 10. As soon as you start to really contemplate a grain of rice, the phone always rings. 9. Wh...
1 comment:
Tuesday, July 19, 2005

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE HIRED THE WRONG THERAPIST

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Top Ten Signs You've Hired The Wrong Therapist   10. For half price, she offers to take you through only six of the twelve steps.    9. ...
1 comment:
Saturday, July 16, 2005

TOP TEN THINGS ON COURTNEY LOVE'S "TO DO" LIST

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Top Ten Things on Courtney Love's "To Do" List 10. Heroin 9. Buy lipstick 8. Bake cookies. Garnish with Prozac. 7. Have att...
2 comments:
Sunday, July 10, 2005

GETTING TO KNOW ME

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Yet even more SPAM than Hormel... 1. Full name? -Aloyisious Chester Jason Rohrblogger 2. Were you named after anyone? -My nominal father Al...
1 comment:
Thursday, July 07, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED GODZILLA VILLAINS

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Top Ten Rejected Godzilla Villains 10. Mothra Fockra 9. Accountantron 8. Megasloth 7. Insecticlam 6. Menstruzoid 5. Spartacus 4. Darth...
Friday, July 01, 2005

TOP TEN REJECTED DAYS OF THE WEEK

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Top Ten Rejected Days of the Week 10. Pukesday 9. Splatterday 8. Hyundai 7. Nightinday 6. Mensday 5. Herpesday 4. Frauday 3. Taxday ...
Tuesday, June 28, 2005

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR ITEMS OF FRENCH CUISINE

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Top Ten Least Popular Items of French Cuisine 10. Soufflégm 9. Escarbot 8. Créme Malaise 7. Beurre Blank 6. Blew Cheese 5. Mise en glas...
2 comments:
Saturday, June 25, 2005

TOP TEN THINGS JASON ROHRBLOGGER DOES TO RELAX

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Note: apparently I have been tagged with a "meme." I have absolutely no idea what that is. Aurora? A little help here? What's ...
3 comments:
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