Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Top Ten Politically Correct Christmas Carols

10. Frosty the Snowperson

9. I'm Dreaming of a Multicultural Christmas

8. O Come Let us Adore Him or Her

7. Jolly Mature Morally-Gifted Nicholas

6. Rudolph the Recovering-Alcoholic Reindeer-American

5. Vertically Challenged Drummer Child of Undetermined Gender

4. Oh Holiday Tree

3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter

2. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over by a Non-Human Perpetrator

1. I'll be Home for a Short Period of Time in December

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

Rudolph the Differently-abled Reindeer

Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Maintained Continuously Monitored Nontoxic Eco-friendly Outdoor Fire for which I do Have a Permit

Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlepeople

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits)

Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings

I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection

We Wish You a Merry Non-Religious-Specific Day-Off in Winter

Oh Come all Ye of Extreme Loyalty to Non-Material Evidence

Oh Devout Night

O Little Town of Palestinian Joint Rule

We Three Misogynist Autocrats of Eastern Asia Are


Atomic Bombshell said...

Sadly, I think item nine would get kicked for having the word "Christmas" in there.

Alonzo said...

Right on, A.B. The goose-stepping stormtroopers of the politically correct would have a shit-fit!

"I'm dreaming of a multicultural Holiday.
With every Holiday card I write,
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your Holidays be multicultural."

Anonymous said...

Right on Alonzo! Twuz da nite befo Critmus an' all ober da hood, ereybody wuz sleepin; dey wuz sleepin' good...