Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Top Ten Signs You Are Addicted to Diet Coke

10. You name your firstborn Phenylalanine P. Aspartame, Jr.

9. You ask your dealer if he has any Diet Cocaine

8. A little CO² escapes every time you remove your hat

7. You fill your bong with Diet Coke

6. Hooked on crack of the opening can

5. You have to drink two bottles of Diet Pepsi to get the same buzz as one can of Diet Coke

4. You cook it up in a spoon before drinking

3. You drop out of your Scientology classes and accept Diet Coke as your personal Lord and Savior

2. You demand all of the Diet Coke in the divorce

And the number one sign you are addicted to Diet Coke...

1. In the morning it takes one liter to get well, two liters to get high

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

Standing in the parking lot of 7-11, you drain a four-gallon Quintuple Gulp
You have a soda fountain hung from your headboard
You demand Texaco install a Diet Coke option on all their gas pumps
You believe the Holy Grail was filled with Diet Coke
You consider TaB a gateway drink


Atomic Bombshell said...

I have every single one of these symptoms. Is there a rehab center somewhere for Diet Coke addiction? It's about time I got some help.

Larry Litle said...

Great list as usual. I loved the alternate- Tab as a gateway drug.

I might be able to pull some strings to get Atomic Bombshell into a celebrity Rehab center but she would have to promise not to cut her hair.

Rhonda said...

HAHA Jason I love this!