Wednesday, July 14, 2010

TOP TEN ECONOMY ONE-LINERS

Top Ten Economy One-liners

The economy is so bad that...

10. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail

9. African television stations are now showing "Sponsor an American Child" commercials

8. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries

7. Exxon-Mobil laid off twenty-five Congressmen

6. The ATM gave me an IOU

5. McDonald's is selling the Quarter Ouncer

4. CEOs are now playing miniature golf

3. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife

2. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank

And the number one economy one-liner...

1. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so they re-possessed her

-Jason Rohrblogger
(7/14/10)

And the alternates...

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

A stripper was injured when her audience showered her with pennies

Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can"

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than General Motors

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico

Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore

A picture is now only worth two-hundred words

Wall Street renamed "Wal-Mart Street"

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they have to share a room

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas taken over by Somali pirates

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America

I eat cereal with a fork to save milk

And two last economy jokes:

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, and retirement funds, I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

2 comments:

Darby Clark said...

Too brilliant for words you are Jason.

Michael said...

Where are you? I used to look forward to following this blog!