Thursday, February 09, 2012


Top Ten Rejected Cookie Fortunes

10. Work hard and you will receive your reward tomorrow. In the afterlife.

 9. Do not worry. God sees all and forgives you. Even the stuff you did last night.

 8. As a Pisces, you should have known, that wasn't fish

 7. Work out harder and your date will like how you look. At least until the evening when you cannot get it up.

 6. Only a fool believes something written on a scrap of paper inside a stale cookie

 5. Everyone secretly agrees that your head is too small for your body

 4. The fortune you seek is in another pastry

 3. Someone has googled you recently

 2. It's all your fault

And the number one rejected cookie fortune...

 1. I found your boyfriend on Craigslist. He wasn't selling his pool table.

-Jason Rohrblogger and Dr. Rody

And the alternates...

You are not illiterate
Do not eat any Chinese food today, or you will be very sick
404 Fortune not found
You may be hungry again in one hour. Order some takeout now.
It is going to burn when you pee

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