TOP TEN O.J. SIMPSON JOB OFFERS

Top Ten O.J. Simpson Job Offers

10. Knife sharpener, Cutlery Barn in the mall.

9. Poster Boy, "How To Character Assassinate Yourself Society"

8. Golf Pro, Soweto Links, Johannesburg, South Africa

7. Image consultant to Klaus von Bulow

6. National Spokesperson, "Benevolent Paternal Order of the Scott Free"

5. Lead shoe salesman, Bruno Magli, Beverly Hills

4. Chief butcher, Hormel, Cincinatti, OH

3. Marriage counselor, Blue Hills, Kentucky

2. Host of Fox's shock show: "World's Deadliest Boyfriends V: When Husbands Attack!"

And O.J. Simpson's number one job offer...

1. Dictator for life, Uganda.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(05/26/98)