TOP TEN JOB OFFERS FOR BORIS YELTSIN

Note: Since Boris Yeltsin recently passed away, I thought I'd dust off this crusty old list from 1998 full of well-aged references...

Top Ten Job Offers for Boris Yeltsin

10. President, Lincoln Savings and Loan, Whitewater, Arkansas

9. TV pitchman for Certs with Yeltsin

8. National spokesperson "Don't Drink and Govern" campaign

7. Best two-out-of-three in WCW cage match with Bullwinkle Moose

6. Mayor, Washington DC

5. Honorary chairman, Leaders of Crumbling Empires Anonymous

4. Bayonette dummy, Islamabad training base, Afghanistan

3. Experimental melatonin transplant recipient

2. Team owner, New York Yankees

And the number one job offer for Boris Yeltsin...

1. Play himself, opposite Jo Beth Williams, in the made-for-TV movie on Lifetime

-Jason Rohrblogger
(10/29/98)