TOP TEN SIGNS RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD

Top Ten Signs Ronald Reagan Is Dead

10. Jody Foster seen canoodling with John Hinckley at Skybar

9. National airport can finally hire some air traffic controllers

8. Bush now offering arms-for-hostages in Iraq

7. Current editions of Star Wars initiative are way lousier than the original

6. Nancy ascends the throne

5. Maggie Thatcher ultimately tells little Wilson Thatcher who his real father is

4. Alexander Haig makes one final desperate grasp for power

3. His stuffed horse, Trigger, is put on display in the Reagan Library

2. The fine Jelly Bellies normally served are replaced with Folger's Crystals

And the number one sign that Ronald Reagan is dead...

1. Emboldened, Grenada renews the offensive. France Surrenders.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(07/13/04)

And the alternates...

Evil curse on the Supreme Court is lifted
Economics no longer trickling down
Finance faculty at MIT now offering Doctorate in Reaganomics
Stock in Depends plummets