TOP TEN WORDS WOMEN USE

I love me some forwarded e-mail spam. Here now are the...

Top Ten Words Women Use

10. FINE! - This is one of two f-words women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how another woman looks, as this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

9. FIVE MINUTES - If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

8. NOTHING - This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine!"

7. GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) - This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

6. GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a "raised eyebrow go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

5. LOUD SIGH - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud ligh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."

4. THAT'S OKAY - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

3. THANKS - A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

2. THANKS ALOT - This is much different from "thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."

And the number one word women use...

1. WHATEVER - Is a woman's way of saying "*!#@ YOU!"

-Jason Rohrblogger
(08/26/06)