TOP TEN THINGS TO DO AT WORK WHEN YOU'RE BORED

Top Ten Things to Do at Work When You're Bored

10. Hang out in office supply closet, see if insults really do bounce off rubber and stick to glue

9. Xerox parts of your body where sun don't shine

8. Hit company cafeterial lady in the head with modem (nothing but internet)

7. When talking to clients on the phone, ask how much they weigh

6. Accuse coworkers of being scared

5. Have your desk moved ot the smoking lounge where thick clouds of second hand smoke function as a surrogate ozone layer

4. Look for ninjas, invisible dogs, and other workplace bugaboos

3. Talk to your boss like Fred Schneider of the B-52's

2. Call Ann's son on the phone, tell him you're hiding somewhere in his house

And the number one thing to do at work when you're bored...

1. Abort, retry, and ignore

-Robert Paul Van Deven