Sunday, July 10, 2005

GETTING TO KNOW ME

Yet even more SPAM than Hormel...

1. Full name?
-Aloyisious Chester Jason Rohrblogger

2. Were you named after anyone?
-My nominal father Aloyisious Chester P. Diddy Rohrblogger

3. Do you wish on stars?
-Is Corey Feldman a star? Cause I wish on him alot.

4. When did you last cry?
-My tears are shorting-out the keyboard as I type this...

5. Do you like your handwriting?
-Depends on what I'm writing

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?
-Porn

7. What is your birth date?
-March first. I'm a Pisces! Gooooo fish!

8. What is your most embarrassing CD?
-Sweatin' to the Moldies

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself?
-Bitter, life-long mortal enemies

10. Are you a daredevil?
-I'm a dareangel

11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?
-I told you I was a dareangel, didn't I?

12. Do looks matter?
-Why, what are you looking at?

13. How do you release anger?
-Back into the wild

14. Where is your second home?
-My lovely cubicle overlooking the scenic parking lot

15. Do you trust others too easily?
-Why do you ask? What are you hiding?

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
-The hearts of young girls

17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless?
-Inglish. I mean, like, c'mon, I totally speek it already, yo.

18. Do you have a journal?
-Nope.

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
-Maybe.

20. Favorite movie(s)?
-Flash Dance, Grease, Sound of Music, Scarface

21. What are your (acceptable) nicknames?
-John Holmes, Emailinator, LuvBot

22. Would you bungee jump?
-Who is bungee? And who else has jumped her?

23. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
-I untie my shoes and, occasionally, my hostages.

24. Do you think that you are strong?
-Yes, but smell isn't everything.

25. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
-Beyoncé

26. What size shoe do you wear?
-Twelve. What's your point?

27. What are your favorite colors?
-United colors of Benetton

28. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
-My inability to tolerate kryptonite

29. Who do you miss most?
-Pee Wee Herman. That guy was all class.

30. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back?
-Perhaps.

31. What color pants are your wearing?
-White (with black thong)

32. What are you listening to right now?
-The sound of one hand. Clapping.

33. What was the last thing you ate?
-California Condor omelette

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
-Violent Blue

35. What is the weather like right now?
-Sarcastic with a 10% chance of funny

36. Last person you talked to on the phone?
-District Attorney

37. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
-Her enormous brains

38. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
-Oh, my, yes.

40. Favorite Drink?
-Jameson and milk

41. Favorite Sport?
-Synchronized bitching

42. Hair Color?
-Paisley

43. Eye Color?
-Red

44. Do you wear contacts?
-Uh-uh.

45. Favorite Food?
-Fast.

46. Last Movie You Watched?
-Behind the Green Door

47. Favorite Day of the Year?
-Your birthday

48. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?
-I love a happy ending.

49. Summer or winter?
-Suminter

50. Hugs or kisses?
-Hugs that lead to kisses

51. What is Your Favorite Dessert?
-Mohave

52. Who is Most Likely to Respond?
-Aurora

53. Who is Least Likely to Respond?
-Spicy Pants

54. Where Would You Want to Go on your Next Vacation?
-Abu Ghraib. Does it cost extra for the hood?

55. What Books are you reading?
-Moby Dick II: Whalin' in Paradise

56. What's on your mouse pad?
-Eeek! A mouse!

57. What did you Watch Last Night on TV?
-Porno

58. Favorite Smells?
-Bus station bathroom

59. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
-Rolling Beatles

60. What's the furthest you've been away from home?
-I went to the mailbox once

-Jason Rohrblogger
(07/10/05)

2 comments:

Atomic Bombshell said...

Oh my god... This is some of your best work! I laughed my ass off.

Anonymous said...

Oh holy crap LMAO