Sunday, October 09, 2005


I know, memes are SO five minutes ago...but this is a LIST one. I got tagged by SJ over at Chronic Listaholic...

Seven things I can do:
1. Open a bottle of Viagra with one hand
2. Gain a few pounds here and there
3. Blab
4. Eat half a box of Girl Scout Cookies. Put them away. Immediately go back and get the box and eat the rest of them.
5. Violate everyone's social boundaries with really inappropriate sex stories. At work. And church. And Little League.
6. Smoke a patch
7. Name that Scotch in three gulps

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Call down the wrath of God to smite an evil city
2. Get the DA to like me for who I am
3. Like, work for The Man, man
4. Predict what that wacky Jim J. Bullock will do next!
5. Stop at 7-11 without getting a pickled wiener
6. Count to seven

Seven things that I find really attractive in the opposite sex:
1. Shallowness
2. Dishonesty
3. A nice car
4. Bad credit
5. Forgetfulness
6. Unresolved issues
7. Beautiful eyes

Seven things I say the most:
1. "Dude."
2. "Dude!"
3. "Dude?"
4. "Dude..."
5. "Dude,"
6. "Dood"
7. "S'up?"

Seven books I love:
1. The Five Jerks You Meet in Heaven
2. I'm Okay, Women Are from Venus
3. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Addicts
4. The Da Vinci Load
5. Sassy, Single and Satisfied
6. Start Late Finish Poor
7. I'm With the Hand

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. Shave my back
2. Publish my memoir as a 10-year-old geisha boy in a Turkish bathhouse
3. Finally get off the junk
4. Hike to the top of Death Valley
5. Translate the Koran into Pig-Klingon
6. Break the land sleep record
7. Just up and...

Seven people I would like to see answer these questions:
1. Kirk Cameron
2. W. Axl Rose
3. Peter Pan
4. Jenna Bush
5. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
6. Dirty Talking Girl

-Jason Rohrblogger


Anonymous said...

And is there really such a thing as me first and the gimme gimmies?

Too hilarious.

b. your sister

SJ said...

I gotta stop reading your lists so close to bedtime. I laugh myself awake.

Jenn said...

This made me laugh at work! Thanks!