TOP TEN REASONS "DEAD EYE" DICK CHENEY SHOT HARRY WHITTINGTON

Top Ten Reasons "Dead Eye" Dick Cheney Shot Harry Whittington

10. Thought he saw Osama bin Laden coming out of his hidey-hole

9. Harry refused to marry Cheney's daughter

8. Did not want to appear weak to the doves

7. Heard a rumor Whittington was thinking of voting Democrat

6. Wanted to pry gun from Harry's cold, dead fingers

5. Was aiming for Cindy Sheehan's other son

4. Whittington refused to succumb to Cheney's withering contempt

3. Misunderstood rules regarding gun control

2. As a gag, spotter stated he sighted Bill Clinton

And the number one reason "Dead Eye" Dick Cheney shot Harry Whittington...

1. Town wasn't big enough for the both of 'em

-Jason Rohrblogger
(02/15/06)

And the alternates...

Because torture has been outlawed
Harry was hiding weapons of mass destruction
Cheney hates attorneys
Hunting with Cheney is still safer than riding with Ted Kennedy