Monday, June 19, 2006

TOP TEN PRODUCTS IN DEVELOPMENT AT KRAFT

Top Ten Products in Development at Kraft

10. A cookie that is harmless to children, but toxic to elves

9. A TV dinner with a built in disposable TV

8. A silicon based non-dairy grated Permesan cheese substitute with the shelf-life of styrofoam and the flavor of sand

7. Artificial parsley

6. Tofurkey: Thanksgiving style tofu

5. A just-add-water dry breakfast cereal that makes its own "milk"

4. Macaroni and Sneeze: The first self-defense entree, macaroni laced with mace

3. Colorful gelatin bears made of bean curd paste

2. My First Buzz: a sweet, low alcohol (.05%), version of Kool Aid

And the number one project in development at Kraft...

1. T.A.P.! Himalayan Spring snowmelt specially collected and bottled then treated to taste like urban tap water

-Jason Rohrblogger
(05/26/98)

2 comments:

Heather said...

Dude, already done:

http://www.tofurkey.com/products/tofurkyfeasts.htm

Cowboy Dave Dickerson said...

What Heather said. I'd recommend switching out with something like:

x.) Lactose-free artificial cheese product that tastes just like regular artificial cheese product.