TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT MONICAGATE

Top Ten Good Things About Monicagate

10. Every ten-year-old now knows the difference between "fellatio" and "intercourse."

9. Hearing Barbara Walters mouth the word "semen."

8. Gap stock soars as blue dress sales skyrocket.

7. For once, Bill is quiet.

6. Al Gore to Dan Quayle at their inevitable debate: "I knew Bill Clinton, I worked with Bill Clinton. I am no Bill Clinton."

5. Highly educated special prosecutor Ken Starr is wasting millions of taxpayer's dollars questioning white collar ethics instead of efficiently putting felons behind bars. (Felons' point of view only)

4. At least Clinton isn't shagging Camilla Parker Bowles. Yet.

3. Unfaithful slobs everywhere now simply refered to as "clintonian."

2. It was either this or 24 hour coverage of O.J. Simpson golfing.

And the number one good thing about Monicagate...

1. Hillary can dump Bill, like the dead weight he is, put all of this behind her, and start running the country like we elected her to do.