TOP TEN NATIONAL ENQUIRER HEADLINES IN CHINA

Top Ten National Enquirer Headlines in China

10. Mao Tse Tung Sends Message of Revolution From Beyond Grave - say friends

9. Psychics Are Just Charletans Used By Imperialist Dogs To Control The Population - psychic says

8. The 'Secrets' Stars Turn In Their Neighbors For

7. Secret Police Shocker: Rebellious Teenager Hoards Banned Copies of "The Old Man and the Sea!"

6. Doctors Reveal: How You Steam Your Rice Says Something About You!

5. Residents Complain: Hong Kong Is Just A Decadent Western Den Of Strife! -admits neighbors

4. "Please shoot me," begs student protestor, "I am a criminal!" -witness claims

3. Tienanmen Tragedy! Four Riot Squad Heroes Left Sore From Beating Students!

2. Four pages of unlucky horoscope predictions: Who's going to fall in love and who's going to prison?

And the number one National Enquirer headline in China...

1. Deng Xioping: Perfect leader, or merely the smartest man alive?

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/10/99)