TOP TEN ITEMS FOUND BY THE U.N. WEAPONS INSPECTION TEAM IN IRAQ

Top Ten Items Found by the U.N. Weapons Inspection Team in Iraq

10. Elite squad of Republican Guard dispatched advanced tactical attack goats trained to hunt down an Allied soldier and eat his canteen.

9. Top secret plans for a Muslim themed amusement park, "Allahland."

8. An identical looking Big Mac with twice the fat and three times the cholesterol designed to kill an American by age 35.

7. A bundled cache of "Honk If You Hate The West" bumperstickers.

6. A file folder brimming with unretouched photos of Clinton actually
making love to his wife.

5. A redneck from the Florida Panhandle that was dropped off in Baghdad by aliens in '73.

4. A missile warhead filled with copies of "The Satanic Verses" aimed at Tehran.

3. An illicit caravan selling pin-up posters of the "Bedouin Girls:" a
cheesy pop act wearing garish robes and sequin veils.

2. Burried barrels of dual-use chemicals that actually leave your skin
younger looking and diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

And the number one item found by the U.N. weapons inspection team in Iraq...

1. 16mm black and white anti-American propaganda films starring a hilarious Farsi speaking Chihuahua.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(7/31/98)