Sunday, January 02, 2005


Jason's Top Ten Predictions for 2005

10. Martha Stewart is discovered smuggling fois gras into prison in her rectum.

9. Whitney Houston's condition is still unknown but doctors rule out "stable."

8. I giant Imperial Star Destroyer docks at the Pentagon and takes Donald Rumsfeld back to his home planet.

7. Tara Reid's bed collapses: 2 killed 14 injured.

6. After the free Iraqi elections, Cheney carves out his own small republic: Dickistan. Capitol: Halliburtamabad.

5. Fans become unruly at a WBC heavyweight boxing match and a Pistons game breaks out.

4. Liza Minnelli legally changes her sign to Gemini so she can get readings for both of her personalities.

3. The hockey lockout is broken when the Detroit Red Wings agree to take on Ron Artest in a best-two-out-of-three cage match.

2. Michael Jackson explains naked photos of himself with guests at Neverland as a "wardrobe malfunction."

And Jason's number one prediction for 2005...

1. Tom Cruise and Madonna form an even wackier cult based on the teachings of Kabbala and thetan worship: Ziontology.

-Jason Rohrblogger


Atomic Bombshell said...

Those were great! I think I'm gonna have to give you a plug on my blog again... Yep!

Grins said...

Jason, fabulous Top Ten lists! I've added you to my own blog so others don't miss out on your wit.

Anonymous said...

dear jason.

you may not know this, but you are my hero. no one, and i mean no one, is as funny as you. that martha smuggling foie gras in her rectum... (!) i'm still laughing. yours truly,

alexis stewart