Thursday, March 31, 2005


Top Ten Rejected Britney Spears Marketing Tie-ins

10. BritneyBites® Hickey Concealer

9. McPickle Spears

8. Preginia Slims 100's: When you are smoking for two...
"Bring your uterus to flavor country"
"You've come nine months, baby"

7. Britney Pokémon character: Grantitimon

6. Sign multi-million dollar endorsement deal with German pharmaceutical giant Bayer, change stage name to Britney Cipro, join band Anthrax

5. Star in remake of Disney camel classic, "Humps" (It was either that or "Britney Goes Bananas")

4. "Oops...I Did It Again," late night infomercial for Depends

3. "Two Gentle Mounds of Verona," by Britney Shakespears

2. Brittany's favorite sweet relish: Chutney Spears

And the number one rejected Britney Spears marketing tie-in...

1. GerberMeister: The prenatal brew of champions

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

Trim Spa
Matching "Twin Towers" bra and "Pentagon Panties" set
Make yer Kessel run in less than five parsecs to the Naboo taboo stylings of Jar Jar Spears
Fundraising duet with Osama bin Laden, "I Shot the Mazar-I-Sharif"

No comments: