TOP TEN REASONS YOUR HOTEL ROOM IS NOT READY

Top Ten Reasons Your Hotel Room Is Not Ready

10. Don't ask me. The squirrels in my pants won't stop screaming! AHHHHHH! AHHHHhhhhhh...

9. You probably made a reservation but we lost it during one of our frequent cocaine fueled orgies.

8. Apparently the carpet is infested with Turkish sailors.

7. Elizabeth Taylor won't leave.

6. The dyslexic maid dusted the sheets and laundered the desk.

5. We can't seem to remove the smell of burnt sausage.

4. Your room will be ready as soon as we've worked the bugs out of our Microsoft server.

3. We're out of rooms, but we've a lovely manger out back.

2. We've replace the fine rooms we normally serve with Folger's crystals.

And the number one reason your hotel room is not ready...

1. I'm not really in a place where I can feel good about giving you a room right now. Hold me.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(08/26/01)