THEN VS. NOW

Yet even more e-mail spam...

THEN and NOW

THEN: Long hair
NOW: Longing for hair

THEN: KEG
NOW: EKG

THEN: Acid rock
NOW: Acid reflux

THEN: Moving to California because it's cool
NOW: Moving to California because it's warm

THEN: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
NOW: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

THEN: Seeds and stems
NOW: Roughage

THEN: Hoping for a BMW
NOW: Hoping for a BM

THEN: The Grateful Dead
NOW: Dr. Kevorkian

THEN: Going to a new, hip joint
NOW: Receiving a new hip joint

THEN: Rolling Stones
NOW: Kidney Stones

THEN: Being called into the principal's office
NOW: Calling the principal's office

THEN: Screw the system
NOW: Upgrade the system

THEN: Disco
NOW: Costco

THEN: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
NOW: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

THEN: Passing the drivers' test
NOW: Passing the vision test

THEN: Whatever
NOW: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?," "I'd walk a mile for Camel," or "de plane, Boss, de plane."
They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

And finally...

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

-Jason Rohrblogger