TOP TEN SIGNS TINY DANCER IS TURNING THIRTY

Top Ten Signs Tiny Dancer Is Turning Thirty

10. Jell-O shots now a full 30% Jell-O

9. Trades in novelty burlesque "On Golden Blonde" for actual copy of "On Golden Pond"

8. Damn kids won't get off her lawn

7. Instead of going to the store or buying food, she just watches the Shopping Channel and the Food Network

6. Still rolls around naked on a fur rug...when her back goes out

5. She no longer thinks of the speed limit as a challenge. In fact, driving too fast upsets her dashboard compass...

4. Orders the "good grass." ...and she is talking about her lawn.

3. That Izod preppy shirt she put away until it comes back in style has come back in style

2. It was just like a Fairy Tale only a little sluttier sleepier

And the number one sign Tiny Dancer is turning thirty...

1. Little known fact: Maya is really a seeing-eye dog

-Jason Rohrblogger
(03/27/06)