TOP TEN SPIDER-MAN PET PEEVES

Top Ten Spider-Man Pet Peeves

10. Running out of silly string on the 75th floor. Then realizing that you have to pee. Then realizing that you have no fly.

9. Housewives with roach spray.

8. Physicians who chuckle when you show them your radioactive spider bite then just prescribe penicillin and Zovirax.

7. Turning in super villains to the police only to have Johnny Cochrane get them off.

6. Dr. Octopus calls himself a doctor even though he never really finished his Ph.D. and his masters degree in Divinity hardly qualifies him for evil-genius status (or the lab coat for that matter.)

5. When the Wonder Twin Powers activate his garage door opener.

4. Loathes the day Val Kilmer will play him in the third or fourth sequel.

3. The way the original Green Goblin's son became the Green Goblin and then the Green Goblin's son's psychiatrist became the Green Goblin. Wait, what's that? You say the Green Goblin's son's psychiatrist's neighbor's cat is now the Green Goblin? Well, might as well put him in a lab coat and call him Dr. Goblin...

2. Girls in chatrooms who assume he is an internet porn cop because he lists his occupation as "web crusader."

And the number one Spider-Man pet peeve...

1. New York City cops who don't believe you when you tell them that your evil twin, Carnage, committed all those atrocities (and has a cooler suit than you.)

-Jason Rohrblogger
(08/07/01)