Saturday, May 20, 2006


Note: Cowboy Dave recently featured me nicely in one of his posts. Thanks for the blog love, Dave. Herewith are...

Jason Rohrblogger's Top Ten Fave Lines from Bourbon Cowboy

10. I'm sleeping literally on the hardwood floor in a sleeping bag, and the closest laundromat is two blocks away, and it's pretty darn cold outside. But I'm actually surprised at how happy I already am.

9. So already I was pretty sure I was dealing with an idiot.

8. If every time that something in life that should be simple turned out bizarrely difficult, and I reacted each time by waving my fist impotently at the skies, by now I'd have the wrists of Popeye and you'd be seeing me at 3 am on ESPN2 in the World's Strongest Forearm Competition, arm-wrestling Glandulor, the robot that made Deep Blue's high school years hell.

7. I was ecstatic! This is the Holy Grail of cheat papers!

6. You know how life sucks but then it keeps on sucking?

5. Obviously, I've been living in the wrong damn part of the country up to now.

4. I think I just dejigamahooed the proper dealybob, so everything should now be cromulent.

3. Bring the real essentials-clothes, computer, TV, my scotch collection....

2. My problems actually started a few entries ago....

And Jason Rohrblogger's number one fave line from Bourbon Cowboy...

1. Last night at a toga party, while I was soaking in a hot tub and waiting for the Jell-O wrestling to start, four of the sweetest and most beautiful young lesbians I have ever met stripped naked, climbed in, and started making out with each other so close to me that we later joked about how all our legs were getting tangled together.

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

How many 3-dollar hotdogs had I actually consumed?
Possible exception if you're a lovely woman with a cute picture somewhere; I'm not ruling anything out. limit is almost always two drinks, unless someone else is buying.
I think I heard a cosmic toilet flush as I realized how much I was going to have to leave behind. So long, futon! Goodbye, exercise bike!
Catch, thy name is Twenty-two.
[pause for drinking.]
I barely rate a second glance.
I spent the afternoon of Tuesday in orant pose near a toilet, and I cancelled my other two look-sees. And that's how I wound up with the apartment I have.
Guess who reads blogs looking for references to the company I work for? The company I work for!
I may, of course, be delusional.


Cowboy Dave Dickerson said...

Aw, thanks Jason! I think the Popeye/Gladulor line may be my favorite as well. Although I feel I should add a possible candidate from a post I did last night:

The albino, too evil to move . . .

Jason Rohrblogger said...


"The albino, too evil to move" is a great line. But it's not your best line. It's not even your best albino line. Your best albino line is:

"Silas blanched, possibly."