TOP TEN ITEMS ON JESUS' "THINGS TO DO" LIST AFTER HE RETURNS

Top Ten Items On Jesus' "Things To Do" List After He Returns

10. Use the internet to find the current whereabouts of Judas

9. Try a Remington Electric Razor. If He likes it, buy the company

8. Sneak behind counter at McDonald's; have friend place gag order of fishes and loaves

7. Stretch out, properly warm-up, then kick some Lucifer butt

6. Goodbye sandals, hello Reeboks!

5. Appear on Dr. Phil, heal the guests

4. Pop in a tape of "Titanic" so He'll have something to watch for Eternity

3. Ride into New York City on donkey...apply for cab driver's license

2 . Start a band

And the number one item on Jesus' "things to do" list after He returns...

1. Get a haircut and get a real job

-Jason Rohrblogger
(09/10/98)