Monday, October 08, 2007

TOP TEN REJECTED BIBLE ONE-LINERS

Top Ten Rejected Bible One-liners

10. Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A: Ruthless

9. Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepherds

8. Q: Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible?
A: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation

7. Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet

6. Q: What kind of cars are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord

5. Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down

4. Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home

3. Q: Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once

2. Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing

And the number one rejected bible one-liner...

1. Q: Who was the first tennis player in the bible?
A: Joseph. He served in Pharaoh's court

-Jason Rohrblogger
(10/07/07)

And the alternates...

Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun

Q: Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A: Because Noah was standing on the deck

Q: Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
A: In the Bible it says,"He-brews"

5 comments:

Larry Litle said...

Jason,

Those are so bad that they cracked me up. I am going to have to link to it. They were very pun-ful.

Atomic Bombshell said...

My favorite brand of good hearted humor, as usual. Jason is #1 (and I don't mean the #1 that implies going to the bathroom).

Kirk said...

HAHA your bible one liners are hilarious!
Keep it up.
Happy Canadian Thanks Giving

Mick Master said...

The Man of Leisure says "nice."

Nice.

http://cherrygil.blogs.friendster.com said...

You're crazy!
Love your blog!
Hope you don;t mind if I plagiarize this one day.
i'll post in my friendster and honor you with the link to your blog itself!
may i?