TOP TEN SIGNS YOU NEED A NEW JOB

Top Ten Signs You Need a New Job

10. You can't look at your boss without envisioning crosshairs on her forehead. And you are self-employed.

9. After taxes your last paycheck was negative. You actually owed them $46.73.

8. The third girl from your department is out on family leave this week. Not only are you going to have to pick up all of the slack, those three child support payments are going to hurt.

7. If your wages get any more garnished, they'll be an entrée.

6. They page you over the intercom as "Mr. Goat. Mr. Scape Goat."

5. You are running out of orifices to hide the heroin.

4. Your supervisor gently reminds you, "These detainees aren't going to sexually humiliate themselves."

3. Your benefits include unlimited time on the heart-lung machine.

2. They've replaced the fine coffee normally served with Folger's Crystals.

And the number one sign you need a new job...

1. Your embezzlement only brings in a few extra dollars now that the company is on the brink of bankruptcy.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(06/07/04)

And the alternates...
Your cube-mate just learned how to fly a plane, but not how to land.
Arthur Miller wrote a play about you.
You can't get any sleep with all that manufacturing going on.
A meeting with your boss costs $25.00, same as downtown.
The medical board no longer recognizes your residency under Dr. Mengele.
You hate the smell of Napalm in the morning.
Your wife makes more money than you and she's dead.
You are up for re-election.
You were originally appointed by Nixon.