TOP TEN ITEMS IN THE 1977 JC PENNEY CATALOG THAT I AM NOT MAKING UP

Today's post was stolen wholesale from 15 Minute Lunch.

Top Ten Items in the 1977 JC Penney Catalog that I am Not Making Up




10. My new dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels.




9. Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom...




8. Here is how to get your ass kicked in elementary school.




7. Here is how to get your ass kicked in high school.




6. How to get your ass kicked on the golf course.


This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it is slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rape.

5.
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he does not, although you can tell just by looking at them that it has happened - or if it has not happened it will. Oh yes, it will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

4.
If you wear this suit and do not sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you would be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

3.
Dear god in heaven, I do not believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you are working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

2. In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.


As does your search for chest hair.

And the number one item in the 1977 JC Penney catalog that I am not making up...

1.
I am guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(01/13/08)

And the alternates...

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I am guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?







And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."


Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits.


Man, that is sexy.