Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Top Ten Country and Western Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body but Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up with a Few

8. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know it's Me

7. I've Missed You, but My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You it's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend and I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the number one country and western song...

1. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

Get Your Biscuits in The Oven and Your Buns in Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Was Stained, but Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Got in at Two with a Ten and Woke Up at Ten with a Two
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I've Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Back in My Bed While I Cry Over You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted to, I'd Be Out by Now
Please Bypass this Heart
She's Acting Single and I'm Drinking Doubles


Adrian said...

GLORIOUS! Did I mention that you're funny?

Jenn said...

This is my favorite thing on the entire internet! love love love love it!!!

You are so awesome, Jason!