TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN AN OSCAR

Top Ten Signs You are Not Going to Win an Oscar

10. Your best work was in "Big Butt Sluts 14"

9. You are the governor of the state of California or Minnesota

8. Your directorial debut involved Mentos and Diet Coke

7. The world wasn't ready for your "Hômage du Stoogé"

6. "Ebonics the Hedgehog" doesn't count as a foreign language film

5. Your script for "Porky's IV: Porkier" doesn't answer all the questions raised in "Porky's III"

4. There is no Best Supporting Douchebag category

3. Your date to the ceremony is Bubbles the Chimp

2. Your remake of "Cocoon?" - "An Incontinent Truth"

And the number one sign you are not going to win an Oscar...

1. You cast Mel Gibson and Michael Richards in the heartwarming musical, "Suga Tits n' tha Hood"

-Jason Rohrblogger
(02/22/08)