Thursday, February 28, 2008


Top Ten Dumbest Celebrity Quotes

10. "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
-Greg Norman, Golfer

9. "You guys, line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

8. "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
-Britney Spears, in Blender Magazine (April 2004)

7. "Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself."
-Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal

6. "I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid."
-Paris Hilton (December 2003)

5. "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation

4. "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

3. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

2. "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
-Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant

And the number one dumbest celebrity quote...

1. "I think war is a dangerous place."
-George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

"I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me."
—Jessica Simpson

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism."
-Milos Forman, Film director

"When I'm a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they'll believe me because they weren't listening to me."
-Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
-Bob Dole, former Republican presidential candidate

"It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something."
-Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college

"These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up."
-Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-Mariah Carey, pop singer

"Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future."
-Yogi Berra, Baseball player

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice

"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
-Dan Rather, television news anchor

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
-Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost."
-Frank Bruno, Boxer

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."
-George W. Bush

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
-George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season

"I do not like this word 'bomb.' It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
-Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them."
-Ted Turner, media mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

"They misunderestimated me."
-George W Bush, Bentonville, AR, (Nov. 6, 2000)

"Facts are stupid things."
-Ronald Reagan, former U.S. President

"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
-Samuel Goldwyn

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
-Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?"
-Michael Barrymore

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
-Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
-George Gobels

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
-Christina Aguilera


Atomic Bombshell said...

Regardless of any brainless quotes, Arnold is still my hero. These were fun! Thanks, Jason.

Adrian said...

Wow. There is some good shit here. Really good. Really, really good. And we are supposed to look up to these people? Makes you wonder...a little depressing really. But in a hilarious way! Ahahahahah (that's me laughing aloud you know). Good times. Oh great, do I sound like one of them now? Talking crazy? Gotta go...