Monday, August 25, 2008


Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty in the Bible but Aren't

10. "And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wonders."
(Exodus 4:17)

9. "Who will come against me?"
(Jeremiah 49:4)

8. "His fruit was sweet to my taste."
(Song of Solomon 2:3)

9. "I will make you as firm as a rock, as hard as a diamond."
(Ezekiel 3:9)

7. "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep."
(John 4:11)

6. "My mouth praises thee with joyful lips, when I think of thee upon my bed."
(Psalms 63:6)

5. "Go, call your husband, and come back."
(John 4:16)

4. "His seed shall be mighty upon the earth."
(Psalms 112:2)

3. "He looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not consumed."
(Exodus 3:2)

2. "He will also keep you firm to the end."
(1st Corinthians 1:8)

And the number one thing that sounds dirty in the Bible but isn't...

1. "Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."
(Psalms 23:4)

-Jason Rohrblogger

Hey, where am I going in this hand basket?

And the alternates:

"Take, eat; this is my body."
(1st Corinthians 12:23)

"So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth."
(Revelation 3:16)

"For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shaved."
(1st Corinthians 11:6)

"My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him."
(Song of Solomon 5:2)

"You must go back to your mistress and submit to her."
(Genesis 16:9)

"Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side."
(John 20:27)


Darby Clark said...

Or, maybe that's exactly what they meant to say;0

Atomic Bombshell said...

1 Cor 11:6 was my favorite. But you know, those Song of Solomon ones I'm pretty sure are actually meant to be dirty in a metaphorical way.

Greget said...

Perosnally, I feel No. 10 should have been moved up higher on the list.

10. "And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wonders."
(Exodus 4:17)

Adrian said...

Hee hee! Although a few of the alternates were pretty great!