Monday, August 25, 2008

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN THE BIBLE BUT AREN'T

Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty in the Bible but Aren't

10. "And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wonders."
(Exodus 4:17)

9. "Who will come against me?"
(Jeremiah 49:4)

8. "His fruit was sweet to my taste."
(Song of Solomon 2:3)

9. "I will make you as firm as a rock, as hard as a diamond."
(Ezekiel 3:9)

7. "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep."
(John 4:11)

6. "My mouth praises thee with joyful lips, when I think of thee upon my bed."
(Psalms 63:6)

5. "Go, call your husband, and come back."
(John 4:16)

4. "His seed shall be mighty upon the earth."
(Psalms 112:2)

3. "He looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not consumed."
(Exodus 3:2)

2. "He will also keep you firm to the end."
(1st Corinthians 1:8)

And the number one thing that sounds dirty in the Bible but isn't...

1. "Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."
(Psalms 23:4)

-Jason Rohrblogger
(8/25/08)

Hey, where am I going in this hand basket?

And the alternates:

"Take, eat; this is my body."
(1st Corinthians 12:23)

"So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth."
(Revelation 3:16)

"For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shaved."
(1st Corinthians 11:6)

"My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him."
(Song of Solomon 5:2)

"You must go back to your mistress and submit to her."
(Genesis 16:9)

"Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side."
(John 20:27)

4 comments:

Darby Clark said...

Or, maybe that's exactly what they meant to say;0

Atomic Bombshell said...

1 Cor 11:6 was my favorite. But you know, those Song of Solomon ones I'm pretty sure are actually meant to be dirty in a metaphorical way.

Greget said...

Perosnally, I feel No. 10 should have been moved up higher on the list.

10. "And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wonders."
(Exodus 4:17)

Adrian said...

Hee hee! Although a few of the alternates were pretty great!